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Like if Louis C.K. made an Indie Rock band with the Beatles.





Andrew West

1) Peyton Manning looks like Eeyore.

2) Peyton Manning's wife is too hot for him.

3) Peyton Manning's wife might be on steroids. This makes me concerned for his safety.

4) Peyton Manning's commercials are actually pretty funny.

5) We forgive Eli Manning on Peyton's behalf.

6) Peyton Manning has never made a yo mama joke.

7) If Peyton Manning did make a yo mama joke, it would be pretty funny.

8) Peyton Manning looks Tom Brady in the eye after football games.

9) If Peyton Manning borrowed $30, he'd probably pay you back.

10) We forgive Archie Manning on Peyton's behalf.

11) If Peyton Manning throws an interception, he goes back to the bench and looks at pictures.

12) If Peyton Manning throws a touchdown, he goes back to the bench and looks at pictures. 

13) If you give Peyton Manning voice exercises he will practice a half hour per day, and fess up honestly when he forgets about it.

14) Peyton Manning drinks skim milk, but he doesn't mind that you drink whole milk. 

15)If you tell Peyton Manning about your breakup, he will listen intently, and say, "I hear you man, that sucks," without trying to fix it.

16) Peyton Manning thinks Brock Osweiler is a pretty good quarterback.

17) Peyton Manning thinks Gary Kubiak was a pretty good quarterback.

18) If Peyton Manning were Luke Skywalker in "The Empire Strikes Back" he would finish his training with Yoda, but he understands why Luke left.

19) Peyton Manning's favorite Beatle is Ringo.

20) Peyton Manning will invite you to his party even if he knows you have other plans that night. 

21) No one talks about Peyton's physical attributes. To hear people talk about him, you'd think he were physically a less able quarterback than a gordita. However people applaud his work ethic, his respect for the game, and his preparation. When you're a musician with a mediocre voice, who's on the wrong side of youth, who doesn't have a chiseled jaw; this becomes pretty meaningful.